Hmmm ... not sure if a man is allowded to post here or not,

But I should point out that the "certain battery operated devices" that you are looking for are actually illegal, extremely illegal, as in classified by the Vietnamese government up there with drugs, pornography, guns, and anti-government literature. A man here in Hanoi was just sentenced to 20 years in jail for trying to smuggle them in from Australia.

Which is probably why a lot of the non-battery operated "devices" I have seen in random grocery stores as sold as massage tools. Wish I could tell you exactly where, but all I remember is seeing them next to insence and body oils and going hmmm. Think I saw some at a Citimart and possibly that store at the top of Trang Tien mall.

Well my dear. I would suggest 3 solutions.

1. I know of a lovley shop in Melbourne, Australia entitled SexyLand who do some more "artistic" looking devices, which would pass through customs like a treat. Abstract sculpture eat your heart out!

2. www.adultshop.com.au Overseas delievery in discreet brown bag. Like they are gonna look!

3. Be creative. Battery opperated toothbrushes. Fresh fruit and vegtables, all you need to do is look in your local market. Dozens of opportunities.

funny I think research shows there are more men in Vietnam than women...many to choose from.

What's so wrong with local men?

Does your cell phone have a silent mode?

http://www.thanhniennews.com/features/?catid=10&newsid=38622

Let's get real, you hippo person. There are no men in Hanoi. Whoever says or thinks otherwise is...um...an idiot. I'm not making a personal crack at you, because apparently your comment is research-based. However, let's just say I'm going to go ahead and go with my own research on this one.

Miss Hanoi, time to schedule a trip to SexyLand. I'm sure the ticket price- whatever it is- will be more than worth it.

Demographics of Vietnam:

Population: 83,689,518 (July 2005 est.)

Age structure:

0-14 years: 29.4% (male 12,524,098; female 11,807,763)
15-64 years: 65% (male 26,475,156; female 27,239,543)
65 years and over: 5.6% (male 1,928,568; female 2,714,390)
(2004 est.)

Population growth rate: 1.3% (2004 est.)

Birth rate: 19.58 births/1,000 population (2004 est.)

Death rate: 6.14 deaths/1,000 population (2004 est.)

Net migration rate: -0.45 migrant(s)/1,000 population (2004 est.)

Sex ratio:

at birth: 1.08 male(s)/female
under 15 years: 1.06 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 0.97 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.71 male(s)/female
total population: 0.98 male(s)/female (2004 est.)

wow almost 84 million people and no men? No wonder some many bored girls out there.

When we say that we mean there are no decent/worthy single men who are interested in western women.. I think that's the point... but that is for another discussion and the question was about a device not the population of Vietnam...

Deary me, A little bickering going on here! In response to this....


"What's so wrong with local men?"

Well dahling i am all for a bit of local flirting but cross cultural lovin is pretty hard going. When you take into account language, different wages, family situation it's just not viable... Not for lack of trying... As for all that business with statistics and numbers and all that... phaaaaaaaa numbers snumbers...

and to the origional question... check out the article posted before...

I may take a trip to the "Happy Market" (Hang Chieu) myself!

Miss Kiss

There is nothing wrong with viets.

well this has created quite a stir! fantastic! thank you for the link to the very interesting newspaper article and the info on the official legal status of these certain battery operated devices. I'll be sure to keep mine in a well concealed hiding spot! Re the statistics on the male/female ratio in Hanoi - bah humbug... thank you MissKiss etc for your insight on how statistics mean bugger all when it comes to this particular 'shortage of decent men in Hanoi' crisis. And I have no issues with local men either, it all just comes down to personal taste and preference, which I believe MissKiss was trying to express. Pulling it back to the initial question being asked, I believe I too, shall be paying a visit to the aptly named 'Happy Market' (if any of you do have success in your search there please let me know the go). Oh and sign me up for the next trip to SexyLand man!

lol, I hate to sound arrogant, but I'm in Hanoi and I'm pretty fly. Taken though.

oh wesmo, this is EXACTLY what I'm talking about! all the fly guys are taken!!! NEXT!!!

wow, this is getting serious.

abslakin: indeed, there is nothing wrong with viets. thank you for the friendly reminder to the wise.

hippo: your sorry excuse for a logical response is (a) not addressing the original question, (b) digressing from the purpose of the queries section of New Hanoian, and (c) highly irritating.

however, i'm sure the majority of women in this little forum group will find the following information helpful: 65% of the population in this country we all know and love ranges from adolescent boys to elderly men. profound.

Perhaps we can organize a group rate to SexyLand? Who's in, ladies?

A trip to SexyLand is a fab idea however I believe we need to nip this at the grassroots ladies... maybe a screening process when guys first enter customs? Ultimately it's quality, not quantity (to a certain degree!) An added section to the arrivals card that determines whether they can get a stamp in their passport? I've got a few ideas myself on how to write the questionnaire, THAT'S for sure!

Why are you in Vietnam anyway?

Thanks for the kudos for answerin yur question, MissHanoi.

... was going to add, if it's illegal, there is no doubt, there's a hidden underground market for it somewhere. Via la Vietnam.

As well, going to add, it cuts both ways, MissHanoi.

True, I agree with you and the other VietDivas ... good man are hard to find. However, it is also true that True Women are also so so hard to find.

At the moment I am exploring my celibate side, and I have to say ... lucky you with your 'battery powered' devices.

oh qwerty qwerty, that is the question? why not Rome or Paris? Or Timbuktoo? It's more the dire lack of access to battery operated devices that I'm really lamenting. Teacherman you give back faith in the male population, True Women are also hard to find, I entirely concur (and maybe I'm a little bias if I say there is however, a larger percentage of True Women to choose from in Hanoi than True Men!!! lol) Yes...us women are at least lucky enough to have the battery option (once we can damn well get hold of them here) when faced with these turbulent times, however it has to be said they don't really replace the real thang!

Although I'm taken, my girl is in the US, so I can still make the complaint that there aren't that many good women here. If I didnt have her I probably wouldn't have liked anything here.

and out of curiosity, what kinda guys are you ladies looking for?

wesmo wesmo wesmo, your girlfriend must be one unbelievable female speciman for you to not find anyone appealing here, but then again, it could just be that you love her so much you just don't find anyone else attractive!!! Although I can't speak for the other contributing ladies on this particular chat topic, I'm afraid it's too hard for me to give a dossier on my ideal guy. These things are kind of intangible in my book! Maybe...er.....Available? ummmmmmm....honest, trustworthy (upper case & bold), sexy, intelligent, fun, smart enough to know a good woman when they see one!!!!! lolololololol

Anyhow, what I really want to know is if any women reading this have had a chance to check out this happy market in the old quarter yet? I'm kind of not sure how to approach someone to ask for what I'm looking for. How do you say 'battery operated device' in pidgeon viet? I don't think sign language is appropriate under these circumstances!!!!!

ps. Miss Kiss...your fresh produce suggestion was formidable however cucumbers generally don't cut it for me! lololololol

This is getting out of control.

Qwerty: good question, to which there is a plethora of answers. Is it perhaps a subtle suggestion that you choose places based on the availability of relationships there, not the opportunities for self-discovery and/or personal development and fulfillment?

Teacherman: touche, touche. I think we can all agree that there are many many great people living in Hanoi. Just like any other location, the bugger is finding one you relate to in the ways you wish to relate...

Wesmo: ideals by conceptual essence are undefinable, thus why I believe this discussion thread has been BLOWING UP, and why we are all asking these questions to begin with.

Miss Hanoi: I think what you mean is that cucumbers DO 'cut it' and that's why they're not the best choice, given these circumstances.

MissKiss: I'm afraid you've paved a pretty difficult road for any real man to follow. Godspeed to you.

Best convo ever on TNH.

Miss Hanoi: I work a lot so it's very possible that I just haven't seen enough. I usually like short cute girls with big butts, lol. ANd yes, my gf fits my mold exactly, but I still can usually scout good talent even if I'm not interested. The reason I was asking what you liked is cus I see a lot of Westerner guys when i go out and i thought maybe i could refer you to some places where you might meet some "solar powered" stimulation, lol. As far as that cucumber convo, either you buy small cucumbers or I'm impressed, lol.

Bethany: I'm sure girls have some basic physical requirements that they care for. I've sorta been starved for interesting convo, thats why we're all asking, lol.

one.

only one.

a beating heart.

HEALTH AND SAFETY WARNING.... Do not try the extra large cuecumbers. Either you will never be able to have a sexual experince with out one, or you will damage your self.


(not from experience)

Just a couple more pearls of knowledge from one MissKiss!

I must admit to NOT really knowing much about cross cultural relationships.....so therefore i should retract my statement from before,

("What's so wrong with local men?" Well dahling i am all for a bit of local flirting but cross cultural lovin is pretty hard going. When you take into account language, different wages, family situation it's just not viable... Not for lack of trying... )

or perhaps I should just add that in saying it i was mearly commenting on behalf of my gorgeous girlfriends who are finding it hard to meet the gorgeous boyfriends that they deserve. Weather they be vietnamese, russian, english, bravarian...... In some respects the cultural diffrences can be much more difficult between men and women (Men are from Mars and Women from Venus you know) than they can be depending on which continent you are from.

There is nothing wrong with viets. Totally agreed. I would say however that it could possibly be harder to form a relationship with a Vietnamese person. But nothing stays in the way of true love when you find it....so go for it…..

WESMO- You are proving one of my conspiracy theories correct! I love it.. That is that the people who you DON'T see out and about boozy at Mao's or around the traps are generally the ones you want to meet! The longer I stay in Hanoi, the less I go to those traps and the more I meet lovely genuine people who work hard and get out of town as much as they can on weekends!

AND…. I am also in a similar situation to you ….BF in a different country, and I find myself quite apt at scouting talent usually and there is not much around…. Hence the knowledge of certain devices.

And I think that’s about all from the Queen Procrastinator for this evening. Good night!

well in that case Bethany, you should have plenty to choose from

So Miss Kiss...are we talking those lebonese cucumbers? It's just with this heat man they just don't stay firm for long!!!!

Just don't try any of the following.

Pinapples, Durian, Watermelon, Extra Large Cucumbers.

again... not from experience.

Miss Hanoi perhaps you should run some tests with other vegtables and let us know the results.

rightyo, will investigate and get back to you! lolololololol

thanks for the durian tip!!

If it weren't for the fact that this convo seems to be 95% women and I dont want to look like the gay male friend in the group, I would suggest meeting for a discussion group on this topic over drinks, lol.

Agreed on the drinkies meeting. Bring these gems of men you seem to know.

Wesmo, not plenty to choose from. A beating heart is indeed a physical characteristic, but also spans across the vast divide into emotional, mental, and spiritual assets as well.

Unfortunately, to have a beating heart in all four areas seems to be the issue.

Oh, yeah. And I'm into dudes. It all comes full circle, people.

Out of the expat community, there are more eligible women than men in Ha Noi. Both groups are equally strange, which makes finding a romantic interest difficult on both sides. Even though this generally works in the favor of men, the ladies should know that we men also face many misadventures in Ha Noi.

MissKiss is correct: "the people who you DON'T see out and about boozy at Mao's or around the traps are generally the ones you want to meet!" It's no conspiracy theory, just uncommon sense. Ha Noi has a startling alcohol problem, and the more you can distance yourself from it the better off you will be - and the more likely you will find yourself a lovely lover.
So go for a run, walk a dog, ride a bicycle, play music, go to a pilates class, draw pictures, join and organization like the Ha Noi International Women's club (HIWC), go to church, volunteer at KOTO, play/watch soccer at UNIS, go to the Opera, start a club. If no nibbles, at least you are productively and healthily occupied!

PS - I am taken.

High five... Michal Oi! A truer word has never been spoken.

You could join HITS and become Glinda, run/come to life drawing classes (Starting again after summer holidays), play basketball and go on lots of holidays. All quite productive i think!

Yeah, find yourself a nice guy by going to church, joining the HIWC, volunteering at KOTO... And then when he's strangely unsatisfying, pull out the durian.

But, if you're looking for something with a little more tingle, maybe try a Google search for 'homemade vibrator', I'm sure some Minsk parts will come in handy! lol

To find the man, maybe there's an opportunity to set up a Hanoi Singles company or website. Hell, there's always the 'Men Seeking Women' section of the New Hanoian. There's a good looking four there at the moment, take your pick! evildesirez sounds nice.

Oh, and judging by a lot of the comments though, apparently the worse thing you can do for your love life is drink at Mao's! Poor Mao...

I just thought of a previously unconsidered variable. I know it's a sensitive subject, but how old are you all?

oh for crying out loud...these kind of comments Wesmo is exactly why I would rather invest my energy and time into cucumbers.

lol, i was just pointing out that we might be evaluating two different demographics. Didn't mean to drive you to produce, sorry.

I feel this discussion taking a patronizing tone, when I do believe the original question was asked in trust and honesty. I think we can all agree that positive actions lead to positive relationships and positive lives, and self-destructive tendencies stemmed from experiences (possibly at Mao's) are just that...with unfortunate potential to take a turn for the worst. But I think it goes both ways- in majority, you get what you seek, and whom you surround yourself with certainly effects your overall outlook.

just to add one more fruit to the black list: don't try the dragon fruit, that might be painful! LOL

i agree with michal on the alcohol problem. there might a good social study to do here, but that would be another thread.

To misshanoi and other female in need: this website offer a group functionality. why don't you create one and organize meet up in certain bar (not to drink!!!) or cafe? If there are men and women in need you guys should meet up instead of wasting time in the vegetable section of various market in Hanoi!

just a thought as i am already taken and madly in love with my wife.

good luck

Thank you peoples - haven't laughed so much in ages (and will never look at a fruit bowl the same way again). I think the Ha Noi chapter of Sex and the City should meet up. How about it? (am female by the way).

Seriously to all you lovely darlings who have become involved in this highly amusing forum chat, thank you! The majority of responses have been highly enlightening and I believe this could make quite an interesting offshoot to the New Hanoian....Hey Elliot - a 'Sex in Hanoi' website in the making???!!! I believe my anonymous identity has possibly been compromised though so may need to change alter egos... What started simply as a drunken dare by a fellow luscious girlfriend over a 'B.O.D' discussion (ahem...I believe I am still owed that cocktail), has turned into quite a lively chat. For the record, I embrace my freedom and love my life in Hanoi with or without a man. It's just that 'B.O.D.'s don't talk back...lololololololol Oh Ladies & Gents, it's all fun!!!! Dance, laugh, sing and vibrate!!!! xxx

lovely.

I think bobthebob01 has the right idea. TNH keeps us plenty busy, so a "Sex in Hanoi" site will have to wait. Definitely put together a group for those uninspired by the usual "singles" outlets. Might I suggest, "New Hanoians for Battery Conservation"?...given the nastiness that comes with recycling such energy sources and the absolute certainty that this legendary thread is going to be the TNH introduction for many a site newcomer.

Get to it (so to speak), and start putting together some outings.

(not that kind of plug, sorry)

Dearest misshanoi and other ladies,

At the Myanmar Benefit gig last night at the Green Mango, there was a lovely new bunch of expats along with a friendly spattering of good-looking Hanoians - as well an assortment of fruit. I hope you didn't miss the live music and plethora (that's right Bethany, I said "plethora") of prizes, but if you did miss it and want to get in on the action, check out the Van Ho Ba (it's a band) on facebook and newhanoian. You don't even have to go to church, join a women's club, volunteer, or do other productive activities like walking a strangely unsatisfying dog :-)
Michal



PS - thanks to the everyone that came! We raised over $3,000USD for Myanmar

It's supposed to say "shameless plug" at the top of my last comment.

Just have to join in -

I do agree with you Misshanoi, and as my friend said only yesterday on the subject of eye candy for women in Hanoi "if you want good cooking you have to make it at home".

Partnered or not, a girl should have her own accessories!How optimistic of you, misshanoi, to come(to Hanoi) empty handed!

Yes do join the HIWC, but not for the men (there are almost none in attendance, and no singles)and I doubt you will have this type of conversation(unless you sit with me!)

I would "second" the tip about watching sport at UNIS on a Saturday afternoon - especially when there is some sort of meet or carnival. Recently I had the good fortune to encounter some fit football players changing in the open - a very nice bonus !(I have also been told that footballers often drop their daks after a few beers, and dance around, so if their behaviour doesn't put you off it may be some fun window shopping....)

Re :F&V -I have seen some large long marrows around (make sure you ozone them first)but can't vouch for their staying power.Try a marrow/toothbrush combo...

Name for such an item - Even if someone told you what it was, you may not get the tone exactly right when making your request-and we all know how that turns out....

Teacherman - Thanks for the heads up on the contraband. I will think carefully where to stash , um, items in case of a raid.....

Importing- Suggest you do not get anything like this posted - even door to door- into Vietnam for these reasons 1) You probably won't receive it, so that will be at least 100 bucks wasted 2)They WILL look 3) If you are not arrested (as per Teacherman's info) you will be summonsed to Noi Bai to pay duty.

For my 1000vnd worth on the whole Viet& Foreigner hookup thing, each is entitled to their own. I think that overall a greater percentage of foreign men are attracted to Viet women than the percentage of foreign women being attracted to Viet men. Also, aside from cultural differences,because of the fact that even average sized western women can seem "large" to a Viet man - accustomed to the small framed Viet women- I don't think they generally find western women as appealling. Equally, western women can find Viet men small (in stature). And finally, I know many many foreign men with viet women and only 2 foreign women with viet men.......

But, whatever, the point is - handy personal accessories aren't easy to find.

I hope you have some success soon. Failing that perhaps a kind (brave) friend could smuggle something in in their luggage.....and risk the Hanoi Hilton.

misshanoi: i'm not too sure but i think you started the longest thread of the TNH history, maybe Alpha can confirm that one.

Funny how this subject always attract so many people (me included!)...LOL

Easily the most popular thread we've ever had. Shatters all records.

boo-ya! doin da happy dance!

ps. pippasweetie, the marrow/toothbrush combo tip, rock on...at least you can get electric toothbrushes here! lololol I did do a double take on those marrows just the other day, but I dunno, could be biting off more than I can chew with that one!!!!!!!

and yes, i don't mind watching a bit of football player public dak dropping, have witnessed this on more than one occasion (actually it was the full kit and kaboodle and led to a rather interesting relay race through vineyards with champagne bottles as batons..er that's another story!) Don't think I'd get quite that display at the UNIS matches but it's still a great perve tip, cheers!

unfort. am still not anymore enlightened on the viet word for this particular device, but get ya on trying to ask for what you want on the 'B.O.D. blackmarket' and actually pronouncing the tone right, I can't even say bun bo correctly to save myself so goodness knows what I'd be asking for. Yeppo pippasweetie, I think it will be a suitcase smuggle job inside a footy sock on the risk of the Hanoi Hilton (ps. I hear they're illegal in Thailand as well for crying out loud, who would have thought?!!)

http://newhanoian.xemzi.com/group/show/62

Nice.

Ummm, I was in the Fivimart on Trang Vu by my apt and I saw something called a Dolphin which looked like a handheld massager. Thought it might be of interest to a few of you ladies.

sweet as wesmo!!!

No problem, I do what I can.

misshanoi: loving it! brought tears of laughter to my eyes..

I rather like the focus back on the origional topic. Wesmo i think i need to title you the SMF otherwise known as the Supportive Male Friend otherwise known as the SMURF. Cause i like the word.


imput is great.

bed time....

I had heard so much about this thread that I had to come read it in its entirety and after a lengthy catch up, well it has been highly entertaining. Ladies, good luck in your mechanical search but I have to tell you that there is still hope. Nice guys are out there, just not in Mao's getting hammered every evening. As with anything worthwhile in life, you have to go find it yourself. Alas it's not going to just fall in your lap. In the immortal words of the philosopher Jagger, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you might just get what you need!"

Thanks Finnmaccool! More pearls of wisdom!Glad you enjoyed the thread!!

If ever the ladies do decide to get together and have a "Sex and the City" style brunch to share more pearls of wisdom on this, or similar, topics count me in!

this reminds me of the "hello kitty toy" ( http://www.kittyhell.com/2007/05/08/hello-kitty-vibrator/ ) and other disguised toys. I read an article a while ago about how companies were designing all sorts of "toys" that are acceptable by local laws, yet satisfy their adult owners.

pippasweetie: "if you want good cooking you have to make it at home"
After seeing one particularly BAD-looking intoxicated female pose a danger to herself (and our band equipment) at a party I co-hosted this weekend, I got a bit negative myself and figured some cooking lessons might be in order for both parties, male and female.
And voila! Just a few links from suvving's "Kawaii" kitch are these blogs & anecdotes with a few ideas for all the misshanois out there:
http://www.jamyewaxman.com/home.html
http://www.cherrytv.com/
http://www.sassybean.com/index.php
Enjoy!

um, in another case of me keeping an eye out, I saw more vibrator type items this weekend. If you go to the electronic store on the 3rd floor of Vincom Tower they have a shelf full of "massagers", some of which are shaped very dildo-like. You should check it out.

well spotted wesmo...am on it!
donning the sunglasses, high collared jacket & fedora this weekend for a trip to 3rd floor vincom towers!

What a riot this thread has been to read! If this is typical of the expat community here in Hanoi, I'm damn glad I did the move from Saigon!

phew...:)) that was interesting (and lengthy)
I have been back for a month and been to most of the popular places in Hanoi.
Surprising enough to see a number of Westerners, guys and gals, just sit and drink and probably looking for someone. I thought coming over and say 'Hi' was not that difficult for you guys.
What about coming to the monthly-meet-up to find eligible bachelors, ladies? :)

So my friend and I decided to set up a little organisation aptly called 'B.O.D. Entertainment' (hey, it doesn't get better than that) - and our first social soiree will be a launch party to screen the new 'Sex in the City' movie at Green Mango on Sat 12th July, 7.30pm. Donation of 100K at the door gets you a free cosmo and nibbles prior to movie in the outdoor courtyard. Live acoustic beforehand and party after... door & raffle proceeds go to TUNA - a local mental health community clinic for women and children. Oh yes...and guys get free beer between 7.30 & 8.30, bonus!
There will also be some fantastic themed cocktails and shooters created by some talented boys from Melbourne as well...woop woop!

that's right missy.
It cant get better than that.
I ll see you there ;)

This event has now been given a proper listing. You can find it on the event calendar and get a look at the venue.

So whats the story here? No more eligible bachelor/bachelorette meet-ups? How did that BOD party go? Any plans for future parties with free happy hour drinks? Looking forward to it!

Has anyone actually bought a vibrator at the Hang Chieu market? i haven't seen any.

Just buy some soap. Soap shouldn't be illegal in VN.

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/fail-owned-soap-fail1.jpg

I think if the women (and some of the men) here could get what you're looking for, the local men (?) would be left sitting on their motorbikes.

At the risk of reviving a very old, somewhat contraversial thread, i couldnt resist, when browsing a vietnamese online shopping website this thread came to mind....

http://eshop-vietnam.com/view.php?cat=677&idprod=1176

check this out, and its even listed in the toys and hobbies section....and has smiley faces.

Dan !! You have waaaay too much time on (should that be in?) you hands. Lol. :-D

Ha Ha ha classic thread. Thankyou Dan for bringing it alive again so that newbies like myself could see it.
Now as a 30 something, single, male, new New -Hanoian, I want to know if the girls are still having trouble? Purely from a demographic analysis perspective of course......

Corn on the cob?!? ;-)

It appears this is and always will be an issue for the lovely ladies of Hanoi. So is alcohol abuse.

"Beer"

Why are you guys helping? You don't realise the redundancy of your argument?

Batteries are toxic to the environment. Think green. Look for options that are either solar powered or wind powered. Wind powered....I can see a crazy patent coming on....

"Beer"

reminds me of a parachute joke and something about a whistle... lol

wind powered... that is.

Love this thread!! Having recently arrived from Melbourne I find it very interesting that you ladies are having "issues". I used to go to SexyLand or adultshop.com.au to buy all sorts of knick knacks for my partner and was very surprised to find out that such knick knacks are illegal.

What amuses me is that in a country where the local women are the most forward women I have ever met, such "enhancements" are treated like narcotics!

I guess it's because the rush of endorphins from proper / expert use of said "enhancements" have a narcotic like effect!

And yes, I am single male in Hanoi! hahaha

Cue "Things that make you go hmmm" by C&C Music Factory.

jesus christ

"Beer"

JC has nothing to do with this, Mary was very sure.

Just the "creepy" factor again

"Beer"